If you're a regular viewer of my blog, you might have spotted a recurring theme. Mainly that I'm so pissed off with everything, and you would be correct. Mostly, anyways - I don't hate everything but the reason for this all of a sudden is that our school prom is coming up at the end of this year and to be quite fair, I'm really not looking forward to it.
And I'll tell you exactly why - I'm a loner. I'm uncool and the friends I do have either aren't going to the prom or are going with their other friends/ Girlfriends/Boyfriends/Pet Chimp and I'm not. What you're probably saying now is "What? But Matt, you're so awesome, you play guitar and are an awesome individual, why can't you find anyone to go with?!" (Well, you weren't - that's what I hoped you'd all say!) and the major reason for this is my lack of any sort of confidence.
It's this lack of confidence that means I actually can't ask the girl I like out to the prom, which is not fun at all. I know some people think they have confidence issues when they're in public, but mine's this horrible mix of no confidence and hideous paranoia. Every time someone looks at me, I think they're thinking how ugly I am, or how stupid I look, or something along those lines. I sit at the back of classrooms so that I'm not convinced people are watching me and judging me behind my back.
They most likely don't, but that's what I think. It's not fun, and I'm actively trying to get rid of all this, but now you know the reason I'm so negative about everything. Rest assured, if I do get 'cured' then I'll still be as critical as ever, just not confined to a computer - this is the only place I can speak my mind without getting really in-confident and shizzle.
Note: This is from yesterday, I'm starting to use the scheduling feature because I might not be able to update every single day...
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